I’m a birthmother, which is pretty weird; my son is nine months old. My husband and I are supposed to visit him and his parents on Saturday, for Rosh HaShanah, but I haven’t heard back from his mom with confirmation of the plans. The kid and his parents live in a big city a few hours away from our big city–we’ve only driven up there to see them once so far, and they’re talking about driving down here next month some time. When I read about open adoption, prior to getting into one, I read that adoptive parents generally want more contact than the birthparents do. “Not me,” I thought–but in fact I would choose to have visits less often than they would. Not because I don’t enjoy seeing them–I do, very much–but because the visits are emotionally complicated for me. But the kid’s doing great, and his parents are over the moon for him, and that’s perfect.
The kid’s birthday is in December, and I just found the perfect present; lovely wooden Hebrew blocks. His family is Jewish (I’m not), and they’re pretty into the “My first dreidel”/”Baby’s Book of Jewish Things” kind of stuff, so I’m confident that they’ll like this. It’s funny; when I talked with his mom about gifts, many months ago, she specifically requested no Christian stuff–giving Christian stuff to people is just so not my style. My futurekid will have St. Francis coloring books etc., but I wouldn’t dream of trying to convert other people or their children.
In the meantime, I spent some of my pocket money on baby stuff this week. This is a chronic problem for me–I’m hoping to have a kid in a couple of years, and I can’t stop myself from slowly nesting. That way, when I have the baby, I will be so obviously prepared that the idea of losing him won’t come up. =/