Roundtable time! Write about a blogger (or bloggers) who influenced your real-life open adoption, and how. It might be someone who became an offline friend who supports and challenges you. Or a writer from a different perspective who makes you uncomfortable, but gets you thinking. Maybe a blogger who doesn’t even know you are reading. Tell us about them and how they’ve affected you.
Reading This Woman’s Work feels like looking in Ruth’s window, sometimes—Dawn and Ruth have a lot in common. I mean, there are of course huge differences as well, but they’re both Jewish women who are the primary caregivers for their kids: Dawn has a son and a younger daughter, and Ruth has a son and plans to adopt again. They process things in similar ways. They even both have dogs named Peanut. My blog isn’t a dialogue with Cricket’s parents, and in most ways I’m grateful for that…but reading Dawn’s blog lets me imagine that I’m hearing some of Ruth’s thinking about adoption, seeing something of what it’s like to be an adoptive mom in her circumstances.
Without Thanksgivingmom, I wouldn’t be blogging; hers is the first adoption blog I read, and I had no idea that first parents could blog before reading hers. She revealed for me a whole world of women writing about their adoptions from all three sides. More than that, of course, she is a voice of compassion and a sometimes frustrated wisdom in the “thousand points of light” that seem to make up the online adoption community. She was the first woman I heard say “Well, I regret that I had to do the adoption, but I don’t see what else I could have done—my daughter’s amom is awesome, my daughter is awesome, and here we are.” It helped me to get grounded when I was drowning in my own grief.
The newest blog I’ve been reading is The Happiest Sad; it’s written by a woman who has only very recently relinquished, and it’s heartbreaking. Reading her words, I see things that I say and have said, and it’s been helping me to process some of my own adoption issues. I hope she wouldn’t be offended to know that I pray for her (me being Catholic and all)—she knows in her head that what she did was right, but knowing in your heart…heck, I don’t know if that ever happens.