Only once during my pregnancy was I solicited by someone who wanted my child, and it was as polite and inoffensive as that situation can be, I think. If I had gotten PAP business cards from a doctor, I would never have gone back—I’m pretty indignant about that kind of advertising, although I guess my position makes it easy for me to disapprove.

I had just started the second trimester of my pregnancy, and had already picked out Ruth and Nora, although of course they didn’t know that. It would be…a month and a half, maybe? before we first talked on the phone. I was at a dinner party for my parents given by family friends; they knew that we were moving away, and wanted to have an informal sort of “we’ll miss you” party. One of the other couples present were a young professor and his physician assistant wife; my father is a professor and my mother is a physician assistant, and the two couples had become friends. The wife, Amy, had heard from my mother that I was pregnant and planning an adoption—I now wonder whether my mother also mentioned that I wanted to give the baby to lesbians and perhaps indicated her dissatisfaction with this plan. Later that night, she approached my mother, who then told me brightly that Amy couldn’t get pregnant again and wanted my baby! Wouldn’t it be nice to give the child to a friend?

Amy hadn’t impressed me as a bad person or anything, but she certainly wasn’t my friend; even setting that aside, I already knew that I wanted an open adoption, and since she lived in a state we were moving 1500 miles away from…. I suppose I’m glad that I didn’t have to turn her down in person, but my mom was annoyed.

I expect that I’ll end up talking about all of the pieces of my journey to adoption, but do any of you out there in radioland have any questions? About anything? I think I’d only refuse to answer the really obvious “What is your legal name and real address?” kind of questions. If not, I’ll keep chattering at random, but I think I do better when I have a prompt. 😛


3 thoughts on “Solicitation

  1. Hi. I guess my question is why you decided to place, and how you came to that decision? Maybe you covered that already but I only discovered your blog about a month ago. And what made you choose Ruth and Nora?

  2. I mentioned my unplanned pregnancy in July 2007 on a message board that I was a part of. I was still debating abortion vs. pregnancy and parenting vs. placement. I was only 6-8 weeks along. I got tons comments…and at least a dozen “Dear Birthmother” letters in my inbox and I hadn’t even decided to continue the pregnancy at that point.

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