How About No

I got an email from Ruth this morning (sent last night, I guess) asking me (and about fifty other people) to take action and help extend the adoption tax credit. Now, I am confident that the credit will end up being extended, and I’m glad that the people I know who adopted kids were able to get some of their money back, but I really don’t think I should be her go-to guy on this one. It felt a little tacky, asking me to help facilitate adoptions. I’ve been asked to help prospective adoptive parents I don’t actually know (really don’t know—we’re on the same forums, but I haven’t spoken to them via email or what have you) to help with their “Dear Birthmother” letters, and I’m not really comfortable doing so beyond offering the most broad advice. If I really got involved, it would feel like I was helping them to misrepresent themselves to pregnant ladies, and yuck. I’d be happy to read and give feedback for people I know, and have reason to know are good and loving parents or parents-to-be, but that feels different.

I’m wandering a bit. All that I mean to say is that I found the email a little inappropriate, despite the fact that she included a line about how it is in birthparents’ best interests as well (provides them a more diverse group from which to choose). I’m not ordinarily that girl, but you know what? I’d rather see the $8k go to the parents placing their kids because of poverty. I know that’s not actually a solution; I don’t want adoption to be more difficult for middle-income families; but I don’t want to help you.

Still hibernating, and not actually as grouchy as this update makes me sound.