Thanks, Legolas

Sorry for the blackout yesterday, folks; I was in bed with a migraine, feeling sorry for myself. I have a pretty solid migraine routine, but it ordinarily involves Excedrin in a pivotal role. Thanks again to everyone who has offered hand-me-downs—it makes me, geekily, think of The Lord of the Rings—“You have my bow!” “And my . . . changing table!” With one exception, whom I’ve already emailed, I think we’re going to wait until twelve weeks before asking for stuff. You know, just in case. But I would like to say that I have no problem dressing a son in “pretty pretty princess” rompers or a daughter in “lock up your daughters!” t-shirts. At least in the privacy of the Casa Book—or for the purposes of horrifying my mother. 😛 Seriously, though, we have both pink and blue clothes in the hope chest, and any futurekid will get to wear them all.

I read an argument on a forum I like about whether it is permissible to be disappointed when you find out the sex; I was really surprised to hear some women I think of as friendly or cool talking about how since some women can’t conceive, you are some kind of monster if you feel let down by the sex of your baby-to-be. I don’t know. I can admit in the privacy of the blog that I would prefer to have a son, but I know that I’d be overjoyed to have a daughter—I have a preference, but my overwhelming preference is just for a healthy child. In the end, I’d like to have either one of each or two sons, but if I end up raising only daughters, I’ll love the crap out of them. I don’t think wanting one or the other makes you a bad person. My sister Kate wants me to have a girl very much, but that’s in part since a baby girl would be given her middle name, and she and her husband will be godparents to our first futurekid. Kate and her husband are now planning to visit us on their Thanksgiving break (they’re both in school—she’s in grad school and he’s getting his bachelor’s after finishing his enlistment with the Marines), and she’s hoping that I will either have the baby while they’re there or right before they arrive. It’s certainly possible. I’m due (according to my mother’s iPhone) the day before Thanksgiving, and Cricket was three days early—and apparently second children come earlier? This is what I’ve heard, anyway. My mom went more than a week late with all four of us, so I don’t know that her experiences are a useful guide. (She also never got morning sickness!) Of course, with Cricket I had a “come out, come out!” program that I started at week 37—it involved evening primrose oil and black cohosh tinctures—but I’ll probably start that up again this time, too. After all, even a bit early, the kid was almost ten pounds—I can’t afford to go past my due date!

I am finally letting myself get really excited about the bean. On Sunday I went through the hope chest and pulled out things that we’ll want as soon as a kidlet is born, and I was really getting into—I can’t wait to smell our kid.

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6 thoughts on “Thanks, Legolas

  1. So timely that you posted that about preferring a boy or girl; I spent this weekend thinking about how people communicate those preferences after the fact. On Friday we went to dinner at the home of a new work colleague of DH. They had two daughters, age 10 and 12. Within a few minutes of introductions, the mom told us that she had only wanted boys. The girls were “okay, they’re fun in their way” but, sigh, she had always wanted sons. I was waiting for the part where she said “Now I can’t imagine ever only wanting boys, the girls are so delightful” or whatever, but that moment never came. The daughters just sat there silently all the while. It was painful for me, and I can’t imagine it’s the first time they heard it.

    I wanted three girls in a row and got them. I never wanted any of them to feel like we were “trying for a boy” so I’ve often told them why I wanted three girls in a row, and how surprised and happy I was to get my wish. After hearing that mom on Friday, I even questioned whether I should do that much.

  2. On my street our family 3 boys born to me, adopted girl; three houses down, 2 boys born to them, adopted girl, across the street from them two boys born to them, adopted girl.

    Busted?

    I raised pink boy, truck boy, art boy, now doll girl in pink & blue. I think we can state preferences; we can even go for them & yet at the very same time that you get what you get rule of first grade applies, & learning to feel grateful for what you get. Hope that makes sense.

    Networks, by the way, for the baby world gear, are cool in the Northeast & the Northwest!

  3. I’ve finally caught up on your blog! Congrats on your pregnancy!!!! I am so happy for you and the Mr!! Now you can look at your hope chest and know that before long all of those things will have a brand new little owner. How exciting!!!!!

    Does your area have a “Once Upon a Child” store or a second hand child store like that? With my first kid I was as broke as anyone could get and used second hand stores like that to find the things that I didn’t recieve from others as gifts or hand me downs.

  4. Yay, this is all so exciting! That new baby smell will be amazing…it makes me smile to think of your hope chest containing sweet and fun gifts for the bean. Hope you are migraine-free for as long as possible!

  5. I was one of those women who after infertility said I don’t care, as long as it’s healthy. but I always imagined myself with a boy. I had brothers, stepbrothers, boy cousins, guy friends. that’s just how I saw it. then I got pregnant with a boy and he didn’t make it. it became even harder to imagine anything but a boy. and then our daughter was born. being her mom is the most wonderful thing in the world to me.

    our daughter’s birth mom always wanted a girl. women have a really strong line and bond in her family, especially the first born. she had a strong sense she was having a girl. I think her only ‘what if’ was what if she never has another girl… I’m already saving my fave clothes for her.

    which reminds me, I know you’re waiting to collect things, but do you already have a carrier? have you ever heard of the moby wrap? it’s great for tiny ones for the first few months. I have one that’s never even been spit up on that I’d like to send you if you want, when the time comes… just let me know.

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