Any Advice?

I have a small adoption dilemma. This truly is small: no concerns about regret, privacy . . . just a relatively unimportant question of boundaries. Here’s the setup.

When we visit Cricket’s family in the Emerald City, we usually eat lunch at their place (the last few times, I’ve brought it) and then go out to dinner somewhere. They’ve always chosen the restaurant, reasonably enough, but they seem to take our preferences into consideration—for example, I’d mentioned last year in an email that we were having no luck finding decent Mexican food in town, so last visit they took us to a Mexican restaurant. Well, I read an online paper for their city, and recently saw a couple of reviews for restaurants I would love to eat at. We’re never in the Emerald City except to visit them—in the future, we may make a couple of day trips to do things that wouldn’t interest them, but not in the foreseeable future. Both of the places I’m interested in are cheap, and I believe that both would meet their dietary requirements. Am I allowed to make a suggestion?

I asked the Mister, and he said that maybe I could bring it up casually if they ask while we’re there, but realistically, with the way they like to plan things, I’d probably have to include the name, address, and details in an email a couple of weeks before the visit for there to be any chance of a meal there working out. So: Can I make a suggestion/request, or is that rude? I know that I wouldn’t mind if they picked a place they wanted to eat in Stumptown unless it was expensive, but that rule of thumb isn’t always enough, especially as I am a little strange.

8 thoughts on “Any Advice?

  1. Not knowing Ruth and Nora I can’t say how they’d take it, but if someone were visiting me and suggested a place to eat I wouldn’t find it rude. I also know that if I were visiting Kidlet and had a suggestion for food or activity J & M would be fine with it. Perhaps somewhere in an email between now and visit you could start a conversation about it by simply asking “I’ve heard amazing things about X restaurant have you guys tried it?”

  2. I would most certainly suggest them. Try not to overthink it (LOL). “Hey, I read some reviews on these hip places, would love to try them out, what do you think?”

  3. I totally agree with Trish- tell them you’ve read some reviews of some restuarants and were wondering if you all could go there together when you visit.

  4. I bet it would be fine. You’ve all got this pattern of going out for dinner already–and it’s not like you’re asking to be treated to something expensive. I like it when house guests make suggestions–it takes the pressure off of me!

  5. Thanks, everybody. I grew up with a pretty strict etiquette set, only to hit adulthood and realize that my mom wasn’t taking her tips only from Miss Manners–some may have come from the voices. Something to sneak into an email, then. =)

  6. I also agree it’s sometimes a relief when our guests actually have a preference that’s easy. it means I don’t have to think too hard about it and everyone can be happy. now, knowing how they like to plan things, I’d give them some notice and maybe some suggestions with more than one option (you mentioned two places?). that way, they can even feel like they’re deciding. sounds like everyone wins!

    oh, and a little strange goes a long way, you know? and I mean that in the very best way.

  7. Suggest! Part of the stress around our meetings are not knowing enough about the other participants wants and needs. If you’d like to do something, throw it out there- and see where it falls!

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