Still Sick, Alas

Okay, I was wrong; I’m still pretty sick. But I do want to give an update: I got a short email from Ruth, offering possible visit dates and worrying about not having heard back from me. I wrote an even shorter response, just picking a date and saying, more or less, “I’m going to be quiet for awhile, it doesn’t spell disaster.” Maybe not the best or wisest thing, but I can’t see myself sending a chatty email for kind of awhile, and I didn’t really have a better idea. I don’t want them to worry that we’re going to vanish—I want to be quiet for awhile, but I don’t want to scare them, or want them to wonder whether we’re gone for good. There’s also a part of me that is annoyed to imagine her saying “Ah, this is pullback, I’ve heard about this”—No! I yell at that imaginary Ruth, This is me getting my feelings hurt and having a family problem and getting sick and being frustrated while remaining committed to the relationship! This is me taking two-hour baths to try and clear some of the mucus from my skull while I think about how our carpets need to be cleaned; this is me glaring at empty Word documents that I can’t turn into emails to you. This is just me.


5 thoughts on “Still Sick, Alas

  1. If it were me, I would cut & paste what you wrote above to Imaginary Ruth and send it to the Actual Ruth. Perhaps what this relationship needs is a jolt of honest emotion?

  2. I’m with Gretchen I think Ruth needs a bit of a reality check! Though if you need to take a step back to collect your thoughts then that’s what you need to do! Hope you feel better soon!

  3. I’m with Gretchen too. Take your time to clear your head, literally and figuratively, and give it to her straight. She just opened the door. I am sorry to say that in this case she needs to hear the hard stuff. This part is not about her or her relationship with Cricket, it’s about her relationship with you.

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