“Like”

Facebook has created some weird adoption moments for me. Ruth and Nora have my parents blocked, and are friends with me, the Mister, and my sister. Over the last few months, they’ve started putting up short videos of Cricket; Kate watches them, I watch them, and the Mister doesn’t. There were several visits put up after our visit, and two of them made me particularly uncomfortable. In the first, Cricket and the Mister are playing together on a piece of playground equipment. Kate saw this one before I did, and when I watched it, I said something like, How weird,  Mr. Book is so obviously about to cry. Kate hadn’t realized that that’s what his face meant—I talked to him about it, and apparently most people don’t read him very well, which is probably a blessing—so I may be the only one who watches that video and sees my husband on the verge of tears. That’s probably a blessing. In the second video, Cricket is trying to cross one of those bouncy bridges and keeps getting blocked by other, older kids. He hovers uncertainly for a bit, then he scoots over to me, and I put my hand on his back in a comforting way that looks super momlike to me. It freaked me out a bit to see that.

This week, they put up a short video of him scarfing down raspberries, which he apparently loves. I almost put up a comment—I love raspberries, my husband loves raspberries like nobody else I know—but I’ve never commented. I only ever “like” their videos. Their friends comment, and I read those comments, and I can’t see it being appropriate for me to leave one. I think it’s okay to like them, though, as they are titled things like “Cricket and Mama Susie on Bridge.”  I hope so, at any rate.

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13 thoughts on ““Like”

  1. I like as well.

    I find it hard to comment on Kiddo’s posts on Facebook (she’s older and has her own) because I don’t want to be ‘that weird lady’ – but I do like them from time to time.

    I think it’s hard finding a balance, but you’re doing fine in my book!

  2. Bwahahaha I love raspberries! Cricket’s got good taste.

    Boy howdy that would freak me out too. Blah. Maybe you should talk to them? Although I guess, it’s a free country, they can put videos up if they want – ain’t nothing forcing you to watch them.

  3. I didn’t know you could block people on Facebook. Oh, the list I could compile…

    I’d think it’d be perfectly fine to comment on their videos.

  4. I think it’s fine to comment, too. The story of Mr. Book in the video just breaks my heart a little bit but I think those videos of you all must be such treasures.

  5. And about this “and I put my hand on his back in a comforting way that looks super momlike to me”, yeah, because you are his mom, too.

    • It gives me such a creepy feeling, though—must be something I haven’t processed. When I saw it, my first thought was “Oh, no.”

      • Ditto to what Trish said. There’s nothing creepy about that at all. Cricket is one lucky little man to have so many adults in his life who love and care for him.

      • You wrote about this , about not being his mom because if you are his mom you lost your son. That always stays with me. My daughter’s bmom said something to me on our first visit after 2 years, speending the entire day together. She said “I love her, but not like I love my daughters (she has 3 teen-20 girls). I love her like an aunt, or something like that.” I just don’t know if that is just her truth, having raised kids for 2 decades already, or her brain has not allowed her to feel like mom. I suspect it is a mix of things.

  6. It seems fine to comment to me, too.

    I had two responses at the same time in re: Mr Book. I was feeling sad at his sadness & at the same time I was feeling your shared good fortune at being together to share the sadness/happiness/bittersweetness of Cricket in your lives & the gladness of new baby on his way. Does that make any sense?

  7. I absolutely think it would be ok for you to comment. I like that you like them though, at least.

    also, yeah, why block your parents? that seems a little odd. from what you’ve said, I assume they have no contact with them?

    I’m also saddened by the story about mr. book. it’s got to be so hard. but yes, I suppose, a blessing that no one reads him as you do. how wonderful to have those videos though.

  8. I just wanted to say that I’m friends with my son’s first mom (and aunt) on facebook and I love it when the comment on videos/photos/random stuff he says that I post. I do post thinking of them, though I guess they don’t know that.

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