I’ve rallied a bit. I’m still trying to figure out whether we’ll actually have a visit; if Ruth and Nora want us to drive up to the Emerald City (as I suspect), well, we’re waiting on a check (and have been for seven weeks now) that should, cross your fingers for me, come soon and let us get the car checked out. The car is running—the Mister can get to work—but my husband tells me that we can’t take it on any long or optional trips until it’s been looked at. It’s a 1997 with 200,000 miles on it, so we are of course hoping that we can get by with some minimal work done . . . but in the meantime, we can’t really leave the city, and have missed out on some good things and cool people because of it. [sighs] I’ve called and asked about the check and am assured that it should be here in the next week (this is a big, reputable company, so I know it will come some time). I find it embarrassing to talk about money, and had to send a quick email to Ruth explaining anyway—it doesn’t seem fair to let them twist in the wind without knowing why we won’t commit to a visit/might cancel at the last minute without a clear reason. Oh, well: these little humiliations build character, right?


5 thoughts on “Maintainance

  1. Would they ever offer to pay for your trip? Would you even accept an offer?

    We decided early on in our open adoption that as we were in a better financial position than our children’s birth mother, it just made sense to offer to pay for her travel expenses. When our son’s adoption was finalized, she really wanted to come to see him. But by then she was living away form the city where the adoption placement happened and could not afford to come back for it. Because it was less than a year since placement, under state laws we could not pay for her to come or it could have been construed as “baby selling.” But it just plain seemed unfair that she was unable to come due to no reason other than lack of money. Especially as my husband travels so much for business that we can always get free airline tickets for family and friends to visit us.

    And frankly, I think it is unfair that you may not be able see Cricket simply because of car trouble.

    • They might very well offer to pay for a visit, but I wouldn’t be able to accept it. What I’m hoping is that they’ll be able to come here, instead—which I guess means that they’re paying for a visit, but it wouldn’t bug me in the same way. I am an odd dude.

  2. We always kick in gas $$ too. But I understand your not wanting to ask or accept, too.

    I think if we’re bold in our lives, we’re going to be embarrassed/disappointed etc regularly, & that’s a sign of living to the fullest. We wouldn’t want our kids not to climb or run because they might go splat occasionally, same for us, really. 😉

  3. My immediate response to this was that it might actually be a good thing if you have to tell them you’re having financial trouble because I think Ruth sort of gets off on having more power and more control (hence being threatened by the Mr’s maleness) and it might help cement things for her in a way that’s pleasing to her, creepy as that is. I doubt it’s even helpful to say this, but anyway that was my first thought. I don’t want to say she’d take pleasure in your difficulties, but I can imagine her finding the situation somehow satisfying.

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