No Good News

Well, I’m a bit frustrated right now. We had a visit mostly scheduled for October 16 (they suggested the date, we accepted), but have just heard that it no longer works for them, and neither does the next weekend, and how’s the 30th? Not so good! I’ll be full-term on November 3, and I’m already finding that I’m quickly exhausted both physically and emotionally, not to mention that I’m not leaving the state when I could go into labor. We could have them here, of course, but imagining making dinner for everyone and being active and social with company all day makes me want to just lie down and cry. I’ve suggested to the Mister that maybe he could visit them on his own, take some pictures, but he doesn’t like the idea of leaving me. He’s pretty sad about missing a visit—I’m more aggravated to find out that we’re a low enough priority to be bumped from their schedule by whatever other event and secretly convinced that the reason we’re not going to have another visit this year is because they’re angry about the pregnancy. October 30 is just too late; we get to ask them to look at January, now. We could certainly have them to our apartment sooner than that, but I don’t feel comfortable planning on that when I am not sure how I’m going to react emotionally to them being around a newborn son of mine under any circumstances—when it’s in a place we can’t leave early if needs be, I am doubly uneasy.

Maybe things would be different if they’d reacted differently to the pregnancy. I’m deeply sad about the idea of not seeing Cricket for his birthday. I don’t know how much it would mean to a two-year-old, but not seeing us for at least six months—I don’t know that he’ll remember us.