I haven’t been writing about the adoption much, in part because I’m a little distracted—but also because the adoption just feels discouraging recently. But I miss Cricket, and a few things have happened, so I’m going to write about them.
On the last Thursday in October, I got an email from Ruth saying “Well, I guess we’re seeing you guys on Saturday, then?” Mr. Book had emailed them weeks before explaining that we couldn’t do a visit this close to the end of the pregnancy, so sorry, but when you guys cancelled the last visit that meant that we wouldn’t be seeing each other for awhile longer. I’m not sure whether they didn’t get that email, or whether emails from him don’t count as official, but he resent it with a little note and I wrote back to her myself: “Didn’t mean to keep you in suspense! See, Mr. Book sent you an email . . .” and so on. That email from her also detailed the parenting books that they are going to send, so I suppose I was sufficiently polite and tactful to be misunderstood when I was hoping to talk her out of that: oh, well. I haven’t heard from them again, and it’s only been a week and a half, but now I’m faced with the need to send them an email full of questions and a nagging reluctance to actually press the button (it’s already written! For weeks now!). It’s a bit time sensitive, as it is almost entirely questions about how they want this baby thing to work on their end: Do they want us to call them when he’s born? Do they want us to call their adoption agency and have them call? Do they want a birth announcement? And so on. Oh, and does Cricket know that I’m pregnant/a baby is coming/anything? I know that a toddler’s understanding of this sort of thing is pretty limited, but I mean “know” as in, Have they mentioned it to him? Am I allowed to? Clearly this is an email that needs to be sent—I will have to change the wording slightly, as I planned to send it the day I hit full-term and mention that fact as a reason for sending it therein—but I think that my feelings will be hurt if they don’t respond soonish, so I keep sitting on it.
The Mister has said that if they don’t write back by the time we have the baby, we just won’t tell them about the birth—we’re friends on Facebook, so they’ll see it that way unless they’re careful—or unless he’s genuinely apocalyptically pissed and blocks them from seeing those posts. And he’s pretty angry; he was talking the other night about how the “condescending talks about a ‘bigger family’” we were given back in the day might have been something they should have saved until they really knew that they meant it. To be fair, though, I was saying things like “I want to place this child for adoption” at the time and meaning it—things change.