Tiny Blue Kimono

I heard back from Ruth! She sent in fact a very friendly email, asking to set up a visit in January and answering the baby questions. And to answer the most interesting one here: Yes, Cricket knows that I am pregnant. He also apparently knows (as much as one can at two) about the whole birthmother thing—she said that the other day he pointed at a picture of me and said “Mama Susie. Grow tummy.” So strange to realize that he’s starting to be able to think about that kind of thing; even seeing pictures of him toddling around with a serious expression hasn’t done enough to jar my understanding of him as a baby. Clearly it’s time to have a visit again. In the meantime, we have been invited to his birthday/Chanukah party, and we almost certainly won’t be able to go—it’s likely to be within a couple of weeks of the birth, and you’re not supposed to stand for more than ten minutes out of any given hour for two weeks after giving birth. At least, that’s what they told me last time, and boy do I wish I had listened! Additionally, though, and probably more importantly (to me), I am a bit spooked by the idea of bringing a new baby to the party and being surrounded by interested/judgmental family and friends of Cricket’s. It would be a hard way to have the boys meet for the first time, I think.

 

When I saw my counselor last week, she asked what I’m most looking forward to about finally giving birth and meeting the kid, and the best that I could come up with was that I can’t wait to see what he looks like. When I try to imagine him now, I can only picture newborn Cricket—I wonder how alike they’ll be. In my own family, we look like two sets of two; Tammy and I look like our dad (she additionally being gorgeous), and Kate and my brother look like our mom (Kate being also gorgeous, but differently). I was tempted, for awhile, to put the little bird into the same first outfit that Cricket wore just because I like it a lot, but I want to be able to tell in pictures which baby is which, and for whatever reason have some anxiety about possibly failing at that. It has made picking out the first outfit weirdly difficult for me.

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9 thoughts on “Tiny Blue Kimono

  1. Oh Mrs. Book I am thrilled she responded and that it was friendly and had answers! Yay. I do have the feeling that Bird will look much like Cricket, but I don’t think you should fear being unable to tell them apart. Any anyway, photos are date stamped! Perhaps though, you have other feelings about that first outfit, and Bird should wear something else first.

  2. I’m so glad you had a good response from Ruth – and even though you won’t be able to make it, the invitation to the party was really nice. I totally agree with you about wanting the boys to have a more private first meeting – I wish you didn’t have to worry so much about judginess from family and friends; I know as an adoptive parent I do everything I can to nip that sort of thing in the bud among our friends and family, but you know enough about our kids’ situation to know that there is still some of that. It’s just a reality in adoption, I guess, and people have their own ideas no matter what anyone does about it. But yes – the first meeting, I think, should be all about the boys & their immediate families, and not all sorts of other onlookers…

    I’m so excited for you as the time draws nearer… I have a pair of red-and-white maple leaf Robeez I am going to send you as soon as Asher outgrows them. 🙂

  3. I am SO happy to hear these great updates Susie! I’m so glad Cricket knows about your pregnancy with the little bird!! I bet his expression is so sweet when he talks about his Mama Susie. Tentatively planning a Jan. visit sounds good…I wish you could be there for his birthday but what you wrote makes a lot of sense.

    I have been wondering what you were thinking for a going home outfit. Love the title of this post! Hope you have a great weekend and kudos kudos on your email!

  4. I’m thrilled that you got a good response!

    Just fyi…I never heard that about only standing for 10 minutes per hour after a delivery and I’ve had four. I tend to bounce out of the delivery bed and right back to my usual routine – walking the dog, hauling a backpack of college books, work. I suspect that the recommendation is to give the new mama as a good reason to rest with her feet propped up rather than actual medical necessity…

    …though your other reasons for not wanting to go make sense to me…

  5. how wonderful that she responded with so much info, plus a plan and an invitation. great news.

    the midwives who delivered our daughter also encouraged her birthmom to take it easy and not exert herself for 3 weeks, so she could both heal and restore her energy. of course at age 21 she as up and active right away, but a week later she was feeling drained.

    I think it’s good advice. stay home, enjoy your son, your new family. there will be plenty of time for the boys to meet.

  6. Oh man, I can’t imagine how weird it must be to se the Cricket toddling around. But yay! He knows about the baby! He knows stuff! Weird, but exciting, yes?

    The #1 thing I’m most looking forward to (well, I guess it’s a short list of things, but still, there is this one) is seeing what the seabass looks like. There’s such a drive to SEE and MEET and INSPECT this tiny thing that I made. I totally get that.

    And of course I’m sure you know this, but tiny blue kimono or not, you will be able to tell your boys apart.

  7. So glad that Ruth responded!!! I have been thinking of you constantly. I agree it might be too overwhelming to bring the baby to the party, but I am so glad the invitation was extended and she answered your questions.

    Now tell Little Bird to come on out willya 🙂

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