Thankfulness

Thanksgiving has always been my least favorite major holiday—I’m pretty neutral on football, I don’t eat turkey, and I have a vague dislike of the part of the day when we all have to go around the table and announce what we’re thankful for. It’s not that I’m not thankful for things; I just don’t like the performance part. But this year I feel like I can’t wait to tell everyone—except that I don’t have to, because I am obviously in love with this tiny charming tyrant. My sister Kate is cooking for us, and I think I may bestir myself to make an almond pie. (My milk came in on Tuesday, so Joey can feast also.) There is sparkling apple cider. And did I mention there is a baby here?

 

I want to mention also how thankful I am for Joey’s godparents, Kate and Hank, my sister and her husband. Yesterday they worked on a tricky diaper change together and Mr. Book happened to wander by and see them working at it—he then came to me and told me how glad he was that they were godparents, how perfect they are, so warm and sweet with Joey already. They’re waiting a bit to have kids, and are getting to practice with their nephew. Evidence suggests that they will do great.

 

And I am thankful for you guys; thanks for reading, for the support, for the baby stuff, and for your own writing. I hope the holiday is a blessing to you all, and to your families.

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12 thoughts on “Thankfulness

  1. Wishing you every joy. You have a lot to celebrate. I was wondering, however, about Cricket’s absence from your list of things to be thankful for. Is it too painful to think about him? Do you not consider him your family? I am probably projecting my own adoptee anxieties, but your silence seemed sad to me.

    • Honestly, I was trying to separate the adoption stuff out, save it for another post and another day. But I can tell you that I was certainly thinking about Cricket—Ruth emailed me Thursday morning to see how we were doing and give me an update on the little tyke, and I wrote back right away to let her know how thankful I was to hear about him/them. I’m pretty consumed with Joey at the moment, and it’s easy to focus on the family that’s here: I’m also incredibly thankful for my parents, but they’re a thousand miles away at the moment, so I just gushed about my new little dude. But adoption stuff is happening, and I am hoping to actually write about it for Monday.

      • Thank you for the clarification. I get that there is a separation, but I wish there didn’t have to be. They are both your sons. I am hypersensitive about being considered “not-of” in my adoptive family, and I am definitely not a welcome member of my first family. It’s a terrible state of limbo.

        I was also thinking that when I had my two little boys, 21 months apart (both kept) and was talking about the baby shortly after his birth, I also spoke about my elder son because they both figured into my family. I get how your family is less traditional and that Cricket has another set of parents, too, but I was struck by how you didn’t mention how you were wondering how the two would react when they met, etc.

        I do understand that the loss of Cricket must be incredibly painful, and the “what ifs” never go away. You love him with all of your heart, and I hope that you both tell him so and demonstrate it through actions. Having Joey around will change the dynamic at visits, no doubt, but Cricket also needs to feel like he’s important and not pushed aside for Joey. It’s normal for kids to feel that in sibling rivalry, but there’s another added layer here in that Joey is raised by you and Cricket isn’t. Kids pick up on things, very subtle things.

        I can tell you’re a very loving mother and will do your best to show both your boys how invaluable they are to you. Hugs.

  2. I loved this post, and I’m so, so happy for you guys! Best Thanksgiving ever. It is wonderful that Kate and Hank are with you and that they’re both smitten with your darling baby. Joey will grow up surrounded with love, and in the future it’ll be great to see all the kids playing together.

  3. Looking forward to hearing how eating and sleeping are going for your little kangaroo…and I’m glad you heard from Ruth on Thurs! =)

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