I keep forgetting that Mother’s Day is coming. I’m marking time by different events: tea with a friend on Saturday, a moms’ group meeting next Wednesday, Joey’s pictures the Friday after that. And then, uh, True Blood season three comes out on DVD. I’m having no trouble remembering my mother’s birthday, despite the fact that it’s the day after Mother’s Day. I’ve written a card to Ruth, I’ve sent M-Day gifts to both my mother and my mother-in-law, and yet there’s this hazy unreality about the approach of the for-real day. Oh, yeah? Seriously? Huh. Well, I guess that’s happening. Anyway….
Of course, M-Day is coming up on the adoption blogs and forums that I read. Birthmothers are wondering about sending cards to adoptive mothers, adoptive moms are planning to send cookie bouquets to birthmoms—everyone is taking some time to figure out how to be considerate, which is sort of a nice way to watch the holiday happen.
I’m trying to figure out how I’ll feel this weekend. I do expect a call from Ruth and Nora on Saturday, which is very nice of them if something I slightly dread; my husband will not get me flowers, because he just doesn’t do that, but I hope that he won’t have to work and that we’ll get to do something together; and I’ll go to Mass and be seen as a mom, which is awfully weird. I still don’t feel like a mom. My mother tells me that I’ll feel like a mom once Joey starts calling me Mama: maybe so. I love him, I feel attached to him, but I don’t think I feel like a mom. It still feels most, I guess, like I’m his sister. I’m sure I’ve said this onblog before, but here’s a status update: still no mom feelings.