A Rundown

  • Part of my problem with PPD is that as I start to better, I give more to the kids—I started to feel better, I got warmer and more active with the kids, and then I stopped feeling better. I’m overspending emotionally, I think. But shoot, that’s my job, right? I’m not seeing a perfect solution here.
  • Mr. Book was deeply skeptical that it was actually my going dairyless that had helped our Kit, despite the fact that he had his best week so far while he had a cold starting when I had cut out the milk etc. a few days before—but yesterday Kit got a bottle of milk expressed and frozen this summer (oops) and then spat up all day and couldn’t sleep for about twelve hours. So that was a lousy mistake, but it has convinced the Mister that it really was the dairy in my diet making Kit’s life so difficult. And don’t worry, I’ve started pumping new milk and am looking for someone who might want the freezerful of dairyful milk for his or her baby. Kit only gets a bottle maybe twice a week, when I’m out either grocery shopping or taking a little personal time (…to work), but I’m going to build up a stockpile of milk all over again.
  • Have I mentioned that Mr. Book has a job now? Because he does! It is a crappy retail job, but after a year of looking, it’s nice to have even a small check coming in at predictable intervals. This is especially handy since we’re switching Joey back to paper diapers 100 percent of the time; he just pees so much now that even if I change his (cloth) diaper once an hour, he’s soaked and getting rashy at least a couple of those times every day. He can tell when he’s wet, but won’t tell us anymore, because he doesn’t want a diaper change. I think we’ll go back to cloth diapers once we’re trying to toilet train him, if they still fit, but right now I just can’t see buying a whole new stash of bigger diapers and raw silk liner and so forth. Paper diapers are happening, and I barely feel bad about it.
  • Joey has been really affectionate with Kit these last few days, despite having a brutal head The other day, he was sort of swooping at Kit and brushing the baby’s face with the top of his head—it took me awhile to realize that he was giving his brother kisses. (If you ask Joey for a kiss, he will offer you the top of his head. He hasn’t quite worked out this kiss thing.) Today he was wrestling with him incredibly gently, curling up with him, and smiling at the baby who was smiling back. I’m carefully not assuming that this is a permanent change, but I’m grateful for the change in weather. They’re both just sweet as anything, so I do hope that long-term they’ll love and be loving with each other.
  • I guess that most parents say their kids are sweet. And I don’t really know the oldest one very well, and his mothering mother seems to feel that he is not sweet. But the two I know are genuinely laid back and affectionate kids. Joey, even in the grips of toddler freakout, still shows signs of the person he was before and hopefully will be again; he sobs and shouts no and runs away, but even when he is very angry, he doesn’t hit anymore. (I know, this could change, but he doesn’t and hasn’t for some time, and I’m very appreciative.) When he was much smaller and did start hitting, I would tell him that while he could not hit people, he could clap his hands together if he felt like he needed to express his anger with his hands—and sure enough, when he’s mad, he will usually give a single angry clap. It’s weirdly adorable.
  • No word at all on the adoption front. The picture I posted some time ago I got after I texted a Kit picture to Ruth at random—had not done that before and haven’t since—and she replied with a picture and “more soon.” Would that it were so. Mr. Book and I are pretty angry about adoption stuff for the last . . . several months, now that I come to count back. Oh, well.
  • I want to end on a positive note, so: Kit likes it if you rub his belly. Just like a gator!

4 thoughts on “A Rundown

  1. I’m really happy the no dairy thing has made such a huge difference! Do not feel even the tiniest bit sad about the diaper thing — when I was a toddler my mom had a prescription for paper diapers for me (this was in the olden days when they weren’t very common) because my rash was so bad so they really do make such a difference. That’s important! Also important is that they are EASIER and goodness knows you deserve some easier especially if the self-care stuff remains a challenge. I think you are wonderful. I hope to get to hug you in person one of these days.

  2. That is great news about Mr. Book! And it’s so sweet to hear about Joey giving kisses to Kit. I’m glad you’ve had moments where you’ve felt better, here and there. Thinking of you, hoping you have a good week.

  3. I love that you are looking to donate your frozen milk! When we adopted our son, a friend of mine gave me a deep freezer FULL of breastmilk! And then, she kept pumping extra (while nursing her child as well) and ended up feeding my son for SIX months! I was so grateful, and am sure there is someone out there who will be equally as grateful!

  4. Glad the no diary thing is working! I’m really hoping you get some more pics of Cricket. I’m very sad that Ruth doesn’t think he’s sweet 😦 I’m sure he is.

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