lisaanne119 comments

“I rarely comment, but wanted to tell you how intrigued by the twist in your story that this blog is now following.”

Early this year, I had been wondering whether EfaN was morphing into a straight-up mommy blog—and thinking about what I wanted it to be. After all, adoption contact has been less than a full blog’s worth, you know? As you can imagine, the dramatic irony here is just killing me. Don’t worry, Susie: your blog, it turns out, was just being set up for new and exciting changes. Oh, and your life. And your kids’ lives.

During that Skype call, Cricket reached out to Joey several times, talking to him and trying to get his attention—and Joey completely ignored him. And that’s everybody’s experience with Joey, but it still made me anxious and self-conscious—but Cricket didn’t seem too bothered. I am, however, starting to adjust to Joey’s new label; I no longer want to avoid telling people, for example. Our next-door neighbor is a pediatric speech therapist, and my mother had asked her long ago about Joey’s speech—I thanked her, belatedly, for some handouts she gave me, and she offered to give Joey an informal assessment if I want. I told her that he’s actually had a formal assessment now, and the results, and her reply was a much sweeter “Yeah, I kind of thought so.” Every little revelation that Joey has been telegraphing this for ages in a language I didn’t understand feels like a sucker punch. Pushing him around on a scooter board the other day and then encouraging him to try on his own—and seeing him instead flip it over and sit spinning the wheels—I understand that differently now, and it’s bittersweet. I’m glad that I know what’s going on.

5 thoughts on “lisaanne119 comments

  1. I might be wrong but when this unfolded I thought that it might relieve some tension around the relationship with cricket. I mean you protecting Cricket makes a lot of sense now. and turned out having a lot less to do with adoption…

    • Did you possibly mean Joey the second time? Because, yeah: it was sort of a forehead-slapping moment when my husband and I compared notes about how we’ve each gotten more and more protective of Joey as he’s gotten older and progressed along a different developmental track than Cricket—or for that matter Kit.

      • Duh I did of course mean Joey! ! Remembered all the comments about you treating the adopted kid differently and in the end it was as simple as he needed it…

      • Yeah, I’m totally reading those old blog conversations differently; I am and was frantically protective of Joey in a way that I couldn’t convince anyone was reasonable. And I’m not the same way with Kit, who is a cheery, outgoing dude. Ah, hindsight.

  2. You are such a good mom and so devoted to your boys. With respect to Joey’s signals, I think it would have been difficult to parse things out and know what’s what. For instance, I might have viewed some behaviors through the lens of Joey adjusting to having a new baby brother. And I think you guys entertained the thought that depression or anxiety could enter into the picture. Also, I’ve been struck by the range of months at which kids reach various milestones. And to close – finally! – your connection with Joey seems so strong.

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