So. Right. Adoption stuff.
Nora wrote back—I was right. Ruth is mostly bowing out. If I wish to send things to Cricket, I am to send them to Nora’s address; if I want to talk to them, I am to talk to Nora. Nora has committed to Skyping with me and the boys every six weeks (and did so on Kit’s birthday); she says that all three of them will come visit on September 7–8.
I am also pulling back somewhat until after the visit. Maybe it won’t look like it; Skype every six weeks is more contact than we’ve ever had. And I’m going to keep that up. But I’m not talking to them unless they talk to me, and I’m not writing to Cricket. After the visit, we’ll see.
Right now, I’m knitting the boys sweaters for this winter. I must look like a lunatic, knitting sweaters in a Southern California June, but here I am, cabling and ribbing and clicking away with my needles. And I don’t know whether I’m knitting two sweaters or three. Well, okay, I do start with a sweater that would fit a boy who’ll be five this winter, but I carefully don’t think about it as being for any person in particular—the last time I tried to knit for Cricket, I made mistake after mistake. And anyway, I don’t know whether I want to make him a sweater; for all I know, the sweater I made last year ended up in the back of a closet or in a donation box, and if that is to be the fate of all sweaters, I’m not participating. But I do knit this sweater, rather a handsome one, in a dark blue and green colorway. When I’ve sewn up the armpits and added a toggle, I make my final decision. Because I guess it was always his sweater, even while I was telling myself that it could fit any number of kids, and I have to try. At least one more time.