That Didn’t Take Long

Well, one of the things that Nora outlined as part of the new agreement is that instead of sending hard copies of pictures in May and December—their original choice—they will send them in June and December every year. June 29, she sent me a message saying that Okay, not so much with the June. But July! For sure! So they didn’t even make it a month without breaking the new terms that they chose. I am frustrated, but will wait to see whether they keep the Skype date this month and the visit dates they chose in September. And if they don’t make the visit—whether they want to reschedule or blow it off entirely—then I’ll tell them to pick new dates with Mr. Book and go to the mostly shut down adoption plan I outlined in June.

Things feel really hard right now. Some of that is that I have really been working at learning to drive; my parents gifted me with driving lessons! And that’s been very helpful, and they are over now, my driving test is scheduled for later this month, and I can basically drive. Of course, the driving school will only teach you to drive an automatic and my car is a manual, but on Sunday I (awkwardly, with a couple of stalls) drove my sister and her friend to the market and back. I am shockingly better in an automatic, and will be taking my test in one, thank goodness. But I find driving really stressful and mildly awful, and I keep having to do it.

What else is hard? This is shaping up into a whiny post, I see. I’ve gotten a little freelance work, which is awesome—Joey’s OT thinks that we should put him in gymnastics, and the city rec gymnastics classes might be possible if I can make a little money—but I can’t work while the kids are awake, and at least one of them is awake from 5:00 a.m. to 8 p.m. I’m tired all the time, which is just part of parenting little kids, but still lousy. And—I’m lonely. I’ve met some nice moms in town, although I don’t know really how to get past the perfectly nice playdates stage to the bosom companions part. Time. And I miss my husband.

But there are also good things happening. Joey is continuing to make real and noticeable progress; Kit has turned into a funny, sweet little toddler who is hell-bent on naughtiness. He talks, he claps, he waves, he points; after seeing me knit, he has tried it himself. Joey is pretty happy, too, I think. He is using his greater language skills to test the limits; almost every day, we have cereal for breakfast. But the other day, I had a bagel, and this apparently communicated to Joey that all bets were off, and he tried to get not-cereal for breakfast: “Juice! Crackers! Cookie!” Sorry, hombre. All of which is just to say that even when I’m overwhelmed, the boys are pretty great.

3 thoughts on “That Didn’t Take Long

  1. I was thinking of you this morning, and it’s really good to get an update! You have so much on your plate, but reading about your love for the boys makes me smile. Learning to drive is so stressful, but it’s completely worth it and even pleasant down the road.

  2. Way to go on learning to drive!! That is awesome. And it’s great to hear that Joey is making progress. And I’m sorry that Nora couldn’t even manage to follow through on such a simple thing. Ugh… they frustrate me.

  3. I did something similiar with the car. I took my lessons and test in an automatic, then went out and bought the only car I could afford – a standard. I couldn’t even drive it home – a family member had to do it for me. And driving did feel awkward and unnatural for a long time – it improved; but I think there are just some people who feel that way while driving, especially if you’re very safety-minded. It’s really good that you’re doing the lessons, even if they do push you out of your comfort zone.
    About the loneliness … it’s isolating enough being an at-home parent. It must be so especially lonely when your partner is far away. Have you ever read this article? I ask because in the past couple of years, I finally found the kind of friendship the author describes. We don’t talk for hours on the phone – but at least once a week, we’ll make lunch for each other and help watch each other’s kids and clean each other’s houses. It’s helped a lot.

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