Secret Identities

I sent Cricket a letter; I think I mentioned that here. On Saturday, I got some texts from Nora giving me his answers to my questions (he likes chicken tacos, and his favorite movies are Frozen and The Lorax) and explaining that he wanted to sing “Happy Birthday” to me. She explained to Cricket that it isn’t my birthday, but he still wanted to sign—so she sent me a video of him doing so.

This is great. I keep being surprised by how nice it can be to be in contact with Cricket now that he’s old enough to take an interest and now that Nora is willing to facilitate communication. I get to hear him tell me that he is a super hero who has every power and no weaknesses. I’m still wary of being too often in touch and exhausting Nora’s patience—but I sent a letter in November and one in February, and they both went over well. I’ll send another letter in a few months with new pictures of Kit and Joey printed inside.

3 thoughts on “Secret Identities

  1. I can’t tell you how happy this all makes me. Your relationship has grown in such a positive way in the last couple months!

    The one thing I will say is as amazing as having our kids invested in our relationship is, there is a flip side. Suddenly there is a concern about hurting them if the relationship isn’t maintained. I’ve found with my son’s Dads that they worry about the emotional toll visits and contact can have on me, I think they think if I am overwhelmed I’ll retreat and J will be asking for visits and I’ll start saying no. So I’ve found myself always making sure I respond in positive anytime they offer anything new and if they express concern over a trying moment (we had one goodbye that was particularly bad) I try to always respond how I understand and I’m not going anywhere. And even though I worry about pushing too hard, I do it anyway because I rather they are annoyed that I bug them too much than for them think I’m not capable or interested in more. I’m only telling you this because as much as I understand your wariness about trying Nora’s patience, I vote to err on the side of slowly pushing for more just so she’s clear you’re invested in this relationship with Cricket.

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